I cannot say enough how much I appreciate that those on left, whether they identify as Liberals, Progressives, Democrats, Socialist or even Communists would take the time to come up with a helpful ‘list’ that all of us white folks can use to determine just how truly despicable we all are. Now of course I’m not serious and this list, called "10 Ways You Can Actively Reject Your White Privilege," is really pretty humorous. But while a certain amount of humor can be derived from reading it, it was at the same time that I couldn’t help but wonder what sort of person, or group of people, would take the time to compile such a list. This list is what follows:
1. Take up minimal space during anti-racism dialogues and protests.
2. Stop contributing to gentrification and calling it “urban development.”
3. Listen when people call you on your microaggressions.
4. Never invite people of color to the table for the sake of claiming diversity.
5. Refrain from using your non-white friends as your “urban dictionary.”
6. Stop lifting up non-confrontational people of color as examples of what POC activism should be.
7. Call your friends, family and co-workers out on racism – even if a POC isn’t in the room.
8. Understand that all anti-racism work doesn’t look the same and advocate accordingly.
9. Realize that all discussions about race aren’t for you. And be okay with it.
10. Recognize that you’re still racist. No matter what.
While there's much to laugh about regarding this rather idiotic little list, let's take the time to make note of a few of the items mentioned. First, how absolutely ridiculous to tell white people not to physically take up too much space at an anti-racism rally. Isn't that fat-shaming overweight white people by telling them they simply aren't wanted as allies in this ongoing fight? Also, it’s number that 4 advises us NOT to invite people of color to the table just for the sake of being "diverse". But does that same sentiment extend to such things as racial quotas in hiring and university admissions policies? And if not, why not?
And as we move further down this little set of guidelines for us privileged white folks, it’s when we get to number 5 that things become equally amusing, because it would seem that you're damned if you do and damned if you don't ask a "person of color" what something confusing means. God forbid you try to explain it yourself and end up being accused of "whitesplaining." But the best one, obviously, is the last. If you're a racist no matter what you do or say, then why go to all the effort? I mean, if there is absolutely nothing I can do to alter the fact that I am racist, then I might as well choose to live with it, not stress about it and maybe even enjoy it. Right?
Now in an effort to make my own little contribution to the ongoing discussion of white privilege, let me offer up my own personal list which can then be taken however anyone may choose to take it:
1. Be proud of being white.
2. Don't apologize for being white.
3. Talk to whoever you want whenever you want.
4. Go where you want. If someone doesn't like it, too bad.
5. Don't use urban slang, it just makes you sound like an uneducated moron.
6. Continue being proud of being white.
7. Don't worry about whitesplaining, that's just a nonsense word made up by imbeciles.
8. Microaggressions are a myth created by the lazy and the excuses makers.
9. Live the best life you can.
10. Lists like this are racist. Non-whites are racist. And they are crybabies. It's not your problem, it's theirs.
And in an effort to get MY list up to 20, I offer up the following items for your consideration as well:
11. Remind everyone that without white people none of the things they enjoy would be possible: phones, TV, cars, medicine, science, etc., etc.
12. Become a "regular" dictionary so that your non-white friends have the opportunity to not sound like a moron from the ghetto
13. Don't go to any anti-racism dialogue or protest events. Heck they are already fat enough and take up too much space themselves.
14. Look at someone who says you committed a "microaggression" like a moron...because they are.
15. Diversity as a goal is stupid, so take the list above’s advice.
16. Let the ghetto remain the ghetto, stay in the suburbs and build your real estate projects where they will not get looted the next time the non-whites are upset.
17. If your friends or family say something that may be racist, just continue the conversation. Because really...isn't everything racist these days anyway.
18. Continue not giving a flip about conversations on racism, because it is about them not you.
19. Realize that anti-racism work is useless and is targeted at a non-issue in society. Again, it is about them, not you.
20. Just live your life, be as nice as you can so that you are not hurting others. And if you do that....it will be about them and not you.
And just out of my own curiosity what percentage of blackness is it, exactly, that permits one to identify as being ‘black’. As a for instance, Barry “Almighty”, while being 50 percent white is still referred to as being a black man, yet someone like Clarence Thomas, Ben Carson, Tim Scott or Allen West, all of whom are 100 percent black, they are still routinely referred to as either not being black men, or as not being black ‘enough’. So please excuse my confusion. We all must know what percentage is required that in turn certifies ones right to refer to oneself as being, ‘black’. Is there some sort of a test or law that will help us poor white folk?
But to tell you the truth I’m getting more than a little tired of all this idiotic nonsense. So I have decided to, instead, embrace all of my ‘isms’ and ‘ists’ as well as all my ‘phobias’ and endeavor to turn micro aggressions into macro aggressions. It is time to push back and push back as hard as I possibly can. It’s time to start calling all this exactly what it is, pure unmitigated crap. In the past Americans built on what came before them. We took the mediocre and we made it better. We took the good and made it great. And what we made great we shared with the world. The leftwing has to tear down everything, and it never builds anything up.
And, as far as I’m concerned, there seems to be very little reason to actually celebrate diversity, at least as it is defined by the left, because it’s rather skewed to say the least. Because, you see, the left’s definition of diverse is rather one sided in that doesn’t include conservatism or capitalism or right wing politics. So I say it again, I am tired of the left's nonsense and therefore I shall enthusiastically embrace my white privilege, I shall practice macro aggressions at every opportunity. And when they call me some ‘ist’ or ‘phobe’ I shall accept it with a great sense of compliment because they really have no idea what it means.
Personally, it’s to my way of thinking that this whole privilege-by-race-thing is completely ass-backwards. Because from where I’m standing it’s the blacks who have most, if not all, of the privilege. They’re the ones who get everything handed to them for ‘free’ with folks like me, an old white guy, being left to pick up the tab for all their freebies. And all the while being left to cover all of my own expenses. And does my daughter have white privilege because she needs higher test scores to get into college, or needs to take out more loans than do her black counterparts? I’ve always said that when I come back I’m coming back black.